FLOURISH 002 – Uncomfortable Conversations To Change Your Life

| Sent Wednesday 27th of June

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Hey there, here’s a question;

Tim Ferriss said;

“A person’s success in life can usually be measured by the
number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have.”

The problem for most of us is that we don’t want to have uncomfortable conversations – they’re UNCOMFORTABLE!

We spend most of our lives trying to make everything as comfortable as possible. Nice cushions so our bum doesn’t get sore (I have no bum), air-conditioning, driving instead of walking two blocks to the shop and the list goes on. Modern life is comfortable.

The 13th century poet Rumi wrote;

“All your anxiety is because of your desire for harmony.
Seek disharmony and you will find peace.”

This paradoxical quote from a long time ago has been backed up by scientific studies that show that the more comfortable we are in the uncomfortable the happier we will be.

So the question is;

Would you rather be comfortable or happy?

No one is perfectly comfortable and simultaneously happy. We must CHOOSE our discomfort.

Maybe we choose the gym and a hard workout, maybe we choose the food we don’t enjoy massively but is good for us, maybe we choose reading something we don’t particularly enjoy because we know it will improve our knowledge and capabilities. We all must choose our discomforts that create our happiness.

But let’s talk about conversations;

When was the last time you had an uncomfortable conversation?

Did it go as badly as you thought it would? *Hint* They usually don’t.

Is there a conversation that you need to have right now but you’ve been avoiding?

A friend who needs some boundaries set? A partner who needs to know about the fetish you’ve never spoken about? A boss who needs to hear how you work best?

There are two parts to having uncomfortable conversations;

#1 COURAGE

All it takes is that little leap… Courage comes down to expectations. We’re usually worried what will happen in the conversation, but remember, it’s like ripping a bandaid off, it may hurt for a second but the pain goes away very quickly and it’s never as bad as you think.

#2 ENERGY

“YOU’RE ACTING LIKE AN IDIOT!”

“Hey… *breath* You’re acting like a bit of an idiot right now…”

Same declaration, different energy. Make sure that you’re taking your best self to the uncomfortable conversation. Calm, loving and understanding will get you a lot further and generate much better results than short-tempered, frustrated and confronting.

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SO TRY THIS:

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Pick one uncomfortable conversation to finally have this week. Big or small, it doesn’t matter. Just one that you have been avoiding.

Find some courage, borrow some off a mate if you have to, centre your energy and have the chat or make the call.

Then feel free to share it with me if you want! I’d love to know how it goes.

A person’s quality of life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have – go have some – you’ll thank me for it – Haha, maybe not straight away, but eventually!

Much love,

 

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